How to love yourself?

“If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.”

This is something many of us ignore but we actually should not. Keeping in mind what is love? An affection towards something or someone in a way that we unintentionally ignore all their bad habits and all we see is the good in them. But ever ignored all the bad things about yourself? Ever let go of your imperfections? No right!

We ignore the purest form of love that can be unconditionally expressed. It is not something selfish. Rather, it is the highest regard you can have for the gift that is your life.


There are so many things that we feel love for but ever thought about our own selves? Or do we just expect someone to love us? To care for us? Why not do it yourself? Why don’t we learn to love ourselves first?


The answer most probably comes to be ‘How?’


How can we even expect somebody to love us if we don’t even love our own self?


But how do we do it? Loving one self is described as doing things we like or enjoy. Doing something that leads to make us happy for example eating ice creams, baking cakes, writing poems, eating our favorite food, chocolates etc.


It can also be taken in terms of care. Like eating healthier, caring for our skin, body, diet, hair etc.


A person must remind oneself on daily basis about how much we really love our selves so that it’ll lead to motivation and self-confidence.

“Treat your life a masterpiece. Know that you get to decide how you paint your canvas-the color, the design, the texture, the size, the light, most importantly every little thing. It really is all up-to you. Don’t be afraid to add new things or new designs because that’s what your canvas is for! Use bold colors, paint your mistakes, start over whenever you want. This is your own life, live the way you want to.”

The best and the biggest favor we can do to ourselves is to stop letting others’ word’s matter! This is so much needed for our bodies, for our health, for mental peace, everything to be exact.

A few things that must be done in order to practice loving one-self, are following:

1.    Be gentle to yourself

2.    Forgive

3.    Celebrate little things in life (remember life’s too short)

4.    Exercise

5.    Remind yourself how beautiful you are

6.    Remember what are your strengths

7.    And start accepting your imperfections

The first and foremost thing that should be done is to believe in yourself. We must retrain ourselves to get rid of our fears and self-doubt in order to build self-esteem and self-confidence.


According to Winston Churchill:

“when you’re 20, you care what everyone thinks. When you’re 40 you stop caring about what everyone thinks and when you’re 60, you realize there was no one thinking about you in the first place “

And:


“If you aren't good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you'll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren't even giving to yourself.” -Barbara De Angelis


When love is absent, feeling of loneliness, emptiness and incompleteness rushes in to fill that void. In the same way that cold can't coexist with heat, and dark can't coexist with light, these feelings can't coexist with love. A person starts having weird thoughts leading to anxiety and stress, which later on begin to consume the mind, that’s where suicide comes in.


When love governs, opportunities expand for all. It’s ‘Love’ that drives choices for better long-term solutions. It’s love that leads to inner peace, leading to happiness and joy, that lead to smiles, less stress, calmness and a beautiful life. That is when a person can start to love someone.


Self-love is also known as the “Forgotten love of life”, according to Rumi:

"The minute I heard my first love story,

I started looking for you, not knowing

how blind that was.

Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.

They're in each other all along."

How Do I Love Myself?
Everyone has their own path. You will have to find yours. You could write down all your excuses about why you can't feel love now and what are some of your insecurities. Look at those excuses and know that they're illusory. You probably won't believe it at first. Your internal programming is probably too well-established. You will have to break down that programming that says "You're not deserving" for what ever reason. It's all lies. Yes, they are!


DO SOMETHING You like:

What do you need? What will make you feel human again? It doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. Sometimes it’s curling up in bed and reading a good book. Maybe it’s a new haircut, or a massage. What brings you joy and happiness? Go do that whatever it is!


SURROUND YOURSELF WITH sincere friends:

The people around you can greatly impact your happiness. Choose to spend your time with people who lift you up and support you. If you don’t have people like that in your life, keep looking and don’t stop until you find your tribe!


STAND UP FOR YOURSELF:

Life is too short to wait for people and tell them how you feel. If someone makes you feel bad, let them know. If someone does something that puts you down, practice finding your voice and speaking out. You are more powerful than you know.


Our hearts cry out for love and we search for it in familiar, empty places. We don't realize that all the love we're trying to get from others already exists inside our hearts. We ARE love. We have to know that. We have to know ourselves and accept our own worthiness. A person outside of you cannot believe for you. You're the only one who can believe it, so you're the only one you need to convince. Trying to win the love of another person is self-hatred.


Must have heard about the chemistry rule:


Like dissolves like!


Trying to get something you don't know will only attract those who don't love you or themselves either. Think about it. Why would you try to win love if you already love yourself? Love is unconditional acceptance of worth and value, not a commodity to be traded. The love you need comes from you and you only. You can't get it, you must only rest in it. Open to the real truth of who you are. Learn to believe in yourself. Love is not gained, only realized. Once you love yourself, others love you too, and together you share your truth and worth. Whatever it takes--You've got to believe in yourself.